Growing Up.

#OldPost Written on November 6, 2018

I feel like the older we get, the more misunderstood we become because of our boundaries and restrictions. We don't want to hurt other people so we tend to hide a lot of feelings within ourselves. That is probably the biggest downside of growing up: we take in a lot of knowledge, trying to learn about the people and world around us, and with that comes the responsibility of learning what to say and when to say it, which we are incapable of doing most of the time. Another downside to growing up: our inability to understand and make others understand. Most of the time, we automatically assume that people can read our minds and comprehend how we feel without us having to say anything. I am also a culprit of this, which in the end is a bad thing because it becomes a habit and can lead to a source of issues.

In context to that, another thing I want to stress on: expectations vs ability. What we expect of ourselves is often different than what we are able to do. Often, when something doesn't go according to the plan, it becomes hard to figure out what to do next because we are so used to what we planned and not what we are facing. Personally, ever since my early school days, people have assumed that I always get good grades, takes challenging classes and succeeds without any conflict. I had always planned out my life and the paths that I should take, but often, I do not know what I should do and what I am planning. I do not know what is out there and what to expect. I do not know how things will turn out because I am human. Just like you. Just like everybody else.  

As I grow older with my education, I am trying to think about how emotions have played a vital role in my experience at school so far. Meeting and getting to understand a ton of people has helped me establish multiple connections. One thing I have learned in the past couple years is to express myself and to talk to people about my interests because if I don't, then people tend to "assume" things and it's hard to get rid of those assumptions. 

So, I encourage everybody to express themselves as much as possible. To feel as much as possible, to love as much as possible, and to forgive as much as possible. And remember that it is okay to not be okay, because you don't have to be okay all the time. You're human, remember?

I know that this post might not make much sense, as it is just a jumble of some things that have been on my mind recently. Thank you for reading all of it if you did. If you didn't, thank you for at least acknowledging that it is there.