The Guilt of How You Feel, and Why You Shouldn't Feel That Way.

Often when we live our lives, we are so focused on ourselves and how we feel and how we process information, that when we are exposed to other people's emotions and struggles, it feels like a crime to be complaining about the small misfortunes and obstacles we face compared to theirs.

Whenever I hear about somebody else's trauma, how they went through these horrible things and how they are coping with it now, I feel terrible. I feel so guilty to be complaining about my situation and how I feel and all of these other things. I shared this with my close friends as well, and they were expressing understanding because a majority of them also feel the same way. On one hand, I was sort of relieved to know that it was a common feeling, but then it made me think about how we truly don't know what other people are going through, and how important it is to be as kind as you can in every situation you face. Killing with kindness is definitely the best way to kill, and the "you never know what someone is going through" is also definitely true.

Most of the time, we find out what someone is going through after they pass or after they have reached a grave level of suffering. Even then, the feeling of remorse and empathy only last for so long until we are back to where we started, inside our own heads.

Back to the main point: whenever we do come out of our own heads and take a look at the world around us, the people living around us, we are faced with feelings of guilt more than anything. After a long while of thinking how I shouldn't be feeling the things I am because "other people have it worse out there", I have come to realize that trauma is unique to each person. That we all have things we go through, and comparing them to other people's lives won't do any good to our personal growth.

Someone I know said these words that have always stuck with me: "It doesn't matter if you're drowning in 15ft or drowning in 6ft...you're still drowning. How you feel is still valid." and that "You know your life and yourself better than anyone else". It wouldn't be right of me to compare my trauma to somebody else's because it is still trauma. It doesn't matter how deep the pool is, I am still drowning.

The same person also explained to me that "you can't be in someone's place and say you can do what they are doing better either". Telling someone that you can heal their trauma better than they can is not right, because you are not them. Now, giving someone genuine advice on how they can heal and the resources they can turn to to get help is okay, but telling them how they are feeling and what they are doing is insignificant, is wrong.

Don't feel guilty for what you have been through, for how you feel, rather use your experiences to understand what your mind and body need. You can be of more help to people in this way as well.