Memory: The Feeble Human Mind.

For being the most intelligent creatures on the planet, or possibly in our galaxy, human memory is pretty shit. No really. We often forget a lot of our lives by the end of it. Even then, we are considered the most intelligent, most perceptive organisms on Earth.

What makes us different from the rest of the Homo genus, and other primates? The prefrontal cortex, scientifically. Along with the number of neurons per unit volume that we have, and the amount of ridges and folds in our brains, which give us an incredible cognitive capacity. So our ability to think and process information sets us apart from the rest of the ecosystem.

So why then are human memories so feeble? I won't go into any scientific facts now. I would like to just commemorate the fact that as humans, we go through so much in our lives. Our skin holds the memories of where we have been, our hearts go through so much emotion. Our minds go through even more events. Brains have incredible capacity, yet we do not remember most of the details of our lifetimes. Time makes it even worse, our memories slowly slipping as the clock keeps ticking.

The thing that scares me the most are diseases that affect our brains. For example, Dementia and a sub of that: Alzheimer's. I think it's the fact that I have seen these so up close that they make me extremely pitiful.

My grandfather battled Alzheimer's for over 10 years, and in those 10 years I saw how much that disease deteriorated his brain. He went from being his usual self and joking around with me, to forgetting who I was. It physically pained me to see him suffer so much, and it wasn't even his fault.

The symptoms had been present before the diagnosis. It is known that people who end up being diagnosed with Alzheimer's have internal symptoms from a younger age. For instance, if a person is diagnosed at the age of 60 years, their symptoms would have started around the age of 40 years. Scary right? And what is the prevention? Nothing really, maybe memory games. What can you do while your loved one goes through this? Nothing, only wishful thinking.

I used to sit with my grandfather and try to converse with him about a lot of different things. It was interesting, though, how he would forget the recent events. He would forget most of his children, most of his grandchildren. But he would remember his wife until the very end, and he would remember his younger days. He used to tell me, while battling this disease, stories of his youth. How he grew up, what he was interested in, where he went with his friends, what he did. Every little detail about his early life came to him, but he couldn't remember what he ate five minutes ago.

I had heard that music therapy seemed to bring some life back into patients that battle these types of diseases. So, I made him a playlist of all the songs he used to listen to growing up. It helped, to an extent. He would hum these songs at random times after listening, but he would forget where to find them so someone had to physically give him the phone, he couldn't pick it up by himself to turn on.

Many years passed, and about 3 years before the end of his life, my grandfather's conditions got worse. This was expected, because the neurons in his brain were deteriorating so he was slowly slipping into nothingness. Before, he used to dress himself, take himself to the bathroom, sing to himself, look out the window at the passing cars and people. Later, during these 3 years, he needed assistance in walking, bathing, clothing; he would stare at the ground and grind his teeth; he couldn't walk alone without tripping and he didn't know where he was, let alone who he was. He even forgot how to chew, and would often choke on his food.

In the end, he needed assistance in his breathing as he had forgot how to do that too. After a long 10 years, he passed away peacefully in the hospital. 1926-2020.

I guess this is why I am so fond of keeping memories. This underlying fear that at any given moment, my memory will be taken from me and all that I am, all that I have made myself to be, will go to waste. So I document. Everything. From the places that I go, to the things that I do there, I document it all. Pictures, videos, physical items and souvenirs. I also document the people in my life. Their names, their faces, if they have given me anything physically. I document it all. Pictures, I keep in albums. Letters and gifts, I keep in boxes. Most of all, I make a habit to sit and visit these aspects of my memory, at least once a month.

Call it a coping mechanism, call it trauma, whatever. I think it's important, for me. Documentation is proof that I was here, physically breathing and living my life. That I, too, was a part of the history future generations will learn about in textbooks. "I was a primary source, and here are these documents to prove it. Read about my life through the panels of my physical memories." A gesture of surrender, if you will. This urge to prove to somebody somewhere that may possibly question my existence that "no, you're wrong. Here is my life to prove it. Do with it what you will".

There is no cure, yet. Science is fantastic, and humans have made such remarkable breakthroughs in so many professional fields, so I am hopeful. Neuroscience is a complex subject, as the brain is unique to each person and it is sometimes hard to find the cause of such diseases, never mind finding the cure. All we have is hope, so no other patient will have to suffer long years in the darkness like my grandfather did.

If you have someone or know someone in your life battling with diseases like this, keep them in your thoughts. Give them a hug, do something nice. They're stumbling in the darkness, help them stay in the light for as long as possible.

Below are some diagrams to help you understand the affect of Alzheimer's on the brain.

Picture below: courtesy of Google Images

Photo below: courtesy of nature.com

Picture below: courtesy of Fisher Center for Alzheimer's Research Foundation